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In the Field
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Spleenwarts are West Virginia’s regional variant of gnome. Males and females are nearly identical, though females have rounder bodies and shorter, less messy beards. Spleenwarts keep their stringy, brown, wheat, or gray hair shoulder length and unwashed; their countenances are jovial, yet rough, their eyebrows thick and always full of expression. Unlike many varieties of gnomes, Spleenwarts fashion their clothing out of animal hides and furs tied together with belts, strips of leather, or found objects; during the summer, they may go shirtless, wearing a grass-hewn, wide-brim hat to protect from the sun. The fae have wide mouths, large, round noses, vibrantly colored eyes (purple, yellow, red, or lime), and downward-slanted, pointed ears.


Gnomes of opposing sex cannot see or hear each other without a four-leaf clover. The fae-touched plant’s magical qualities allow the rotund creatures to find their partners, speak with them, and reunite with children for a brief period. Once a male gnome reaches maturity (four years of age), he seeks out a four-leaf clover. He then builds a shanty of sticks and stones topped with foliage in a bright, sunlit clearing placing the clover outside the entryway. He checks on the clover each morning until he discovers half of the clover missing; then, he eats the other half, and the two gnomes see each other for the first time, sparking love instantly between the pair. The couple meets in this same location each year on the anniversary of their first meeting; new piles of treasure or notes left in the abode are the only reminder of the other’s continual presence. When female gnomes give birth (six-month gestation), males are reminded to be near through messages written in the dirt. Females raise females, and males males, as they also cannot see each other without help from clovers. The plant is gathered whenever the pair/family wishes to see each other, though they are mostly content with only knowing they are near. If mates do not show up for their anniversary, nor their children, they are presumed dead; the shanty is abandoned after two missed years. The individual may seek out a new mate, or live the rest of their days alone (typically this depends on their age—older gnomes are more likely to remain alone). A gnome lives between 15 - 30 years, depending upon how adventurous and daring he/she is.


Spleenwarts forage berries and other edible vegetation but also scavenge dead animals, eggs, and hunt small fish, amphibians, insects, or mice; hunting is carried out with slingshots or brute strength. Fathers and sons, as well as mothers, and daughters remain together until they leave to build their own family. All Spleenwarts have a fondness for honey but the substance is difficult and dangerous to obtain. Additionally, gnomes do not care for animals—viewing them to be more of a nuisance—and do not keep any organisms as pets.


Spleenwarts trade stories or items with other fae (namely the Yaerrow) for goods and services. Some Spleenwarts may have romantic relationships with other, similar bodied fae, as they can see them all without magical aid, unlike their own counterparts; however, this is frowned upon by all fae communities. Some gnomes may also develop a fear of the opposite sex, as they grow to believe or hear rumors that they are strange, ghastly, or ugly.


The main life goal of a Spleenwart is to uncover lost treasures, such as old coins, relics from lost or abandoned structures and sites, jewelry, ore, and any interesting, colorful or shiny object they find or hear about along the way. Gnomes pass down stories of great, hidden hordes, each generation seeking to unravel these mysteries and reveal their wonders. Though they have no magical spells, the fae do have an extraordinary ability to pick up the scent of metal, gemstone, or valuable materials they have studied the scent of. When valuable items are found, they are brought back to their shanty and shared by their family. Upon the shanty owner/owners’ death, the spoils are split equally among their children. Theft is not practiced by gnomes, as they view it as the worst one can do, as the collected items connect the gnomes to their ancestors, help them remember history, and fill them with joy, and pride.


Spleenwarts are believed to know of Dennis Atkins’, the Carpenter Farm’s, and Raven Rock’s mysterious, hidden treasures, as well as Paden City’s lost steamer, the Charleston cache of 1760, the Lost John Swift Silver Mine, and other forgotten fortunes.

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